Vaudeville in the Rattrap
by Orange Seltzer
Summary: It was one of those nights.[HarleyxJoker]


Disclaimer: I do not own any DC characters. That'd be pretty cool though…it'd be much smuttier. –Dirty giggle here-

Note: I haven't written in so long, I'm sorry my babies! I'm caught up in writing a Rocky Horror fanfic, multi-chaptered, so every time I'm on the computer I'm typing away at that. So if you like sweet transvestites, or want a different set of jaws, get your garter-belt-clad-butt over into that category, it's in the M section. But I had the urge to write about everyone's favorite clownish couple, so here we go!

X.x.x.x.X

It was one of _those_ nights again; where he told her to stay home, get some sleep. But how could she possibly lie down and rest when her Puddin' was out there, manic marauder of the Gotham night? So she sat, looking out the window nails digging into her skin, listening to the incorrect clock's _tick tick tock tock _grind into her ears. Harely barely blinked, except when the lightning flashed. The _tink tink tink _of the harsh wind and rain pounded into her soul, which was twisting and turning with terror. How could Mr.J be out there all alone, with nobody to tell him the coast is clear? Every time she thought about him getting taken back to Arkham (the streets were lined with cops these days, after their fifth notorious break out) where they'd try to turn him into a-GASP!-Bats loving loon. She simply would not stand for it! But could she bear to disobey her Puddin', to make sure he's safe, and warm, and wonderful? Yes, she could. She could take the beating.

Just as she got bundled up in her pink raincoat, with its almost matching pink umbrella, he stumbled in. Reeking of liquor, stale smoke, and was it-could it be? –Perfume he had a goofy grin on his face, not to mention a smudge of red. It wasn't blood; it was too rosy, too pink-hued. It had to be; and just like that, it was one of _those_ nights.

"Puddin'…what's this?"

She poked timidly at the stain, just missing his mouth. The Joker laughed drunkenly, shaking his head slowly, and waving it away with his hand. Harley noticed it was missing the glove. His laughter was too high pitched, his eyes were glazed, but she didn't notice that. All she could see with the lipstick mark, zeroing in on it.

"Aww, Harls-" he grinned at her while swaying, his beady eyes lazy and staring into space. "She wa' juss' some whore who…I dunno…ya know?" His giggle, the endless "Hahas" melted when they hit her ears, they were not cute, they held no meaning. Tears stung, and she knew because he was drunk he'd try to console her, actually handle her with care. But that wasn't the Joker she knew and loved, she wanted him to make her tremble with fear, fuck her senseless, make her cry for any reason but _this._ Her Puddin' was hers, and rightfully so. There was nobody else who could "tame" the beast, nobody else who could forgive him for making every inch of their bodies raw and tender. He could only do that to her, only she could be included in his masochistic mayhem. She was the one person alive who could love him as he destroyed her.

Wiping the tears away, she opened the pink umbrella, finished the last button on her raincoat, she turned to her Puddin', the devotion quickly back in her eyes. He grinned back, daffy, no idea of the thoughts that were running through her head.

"Puddin'…" she made her voice sweet, like liquid candy running over her tongue. She didn't bother with eye contact, couldn't look at his face without seeing the stain. "Tell me what she looked like…"

"I can…do ya one bette' Harls…her name…was…Babs…Gordon. She's still in the…alley prob'ly, shakin' an' cryin'. Why, gonna…ave'ge meh?"

She gave him a sly smile before going out the door. She'd done the routine a million times before; it was all so vaudeville. She'd be the straight man, and he'd set up a joke-in this case, it was a joke only they found funny-and she'd come and top it off. That Babs Gordon was going to get it tonight, for experiencing sins of the flesh, her Mr.J's flesh, despite that it was unwillingly.

X.x.x.x.X

I just always assumed the Joker would occasionally rape a woman, and Harley would be sad, but I delved deep (okay, not _that_ deep) into my mind, and came out with our Harls wanting payback. Review darlings? xoxo


End file.
